Dumped on the Jacksy

When is it acceptable to date a "married man"?

Had you asked me this question last week, my answer would have been "never".   Of course, that's the short and very, very lazy answer.   There are, perhaps, certain exceptions where it is acceptable.  What if the parties are separated, living entirely separate lives but do not wish to divorce on religious grounds?  Or because of the children?  Or simply because they don't want to as no intention to remarry/reproduce in the future?   What if one party is entirely miserable and unhappy,  perhaps they are in an abusive relationship, too frightened or financially impecunious to leave, and turns to a kindly friend/colleague for support, and that friendship leads to love?

Now there are some that will say whilst others can do whatever they like and that is for them, they personally would never become romantically involved with a married man.  Perhaps because they had learned the hard way, or perhaps because they just don't agree with it.  I always thought I was of that mind - I try never to sit in judgment of others (God knows plenty could sit in judgment of me, one way or the other) but it's not for me.  No thank you.   Sister solidarity and all that. 

Now I have few hard and fast rules in life, and those that know me know that whilst I am a pretty open minded, try anything once (within reason) kinda gal, the married man thing is inviolate. 

However, I now find myself in a quandary.   I've recently met a great guy.  I suspect he'll be making an appearance here from time to time, so he best have a name, and that name shall be JC.  He's fit, fun and fabulous.  He's smart and articulate.  He's sarcastic.  He is the right mix of interested and unavailable.  He is somewhat of an enigma.  He is married.

There is no need to bore with the detail, but things are "complicated".  With a capital C.  And that for me means "no".  With a capital N.

My last experience with a married man was a guy who'd been separated for 2 years.  He hadn't dated anyone in the meantime and hadn't felt the need to bother with the formalities of divorce, but hey - two years on is safe for me, right?  Wrong.  After I fell head over heels in love with this whirlwind (and I say that as I met him on 3 April, was in love by the 3 May and it was over by 3 June) he decided to get on with the legalities.  However, that stirred up a shedload of emotions he wasn't ready for so I got right royally dumped on the jacksy when he decided "he wasn't over his marriage".  Never has falling off cloud 9 been so fast, so furious and so painful.  I not only bruised my derriere when I landed, but also my ego.  So the married man rule was extended to not just married men, but also separated men.  Most of the 35+ male generation, in fact.  And I can tell you, that leaves some slim pickings.

So what the hell am I doing even CONSIDERING entering into any sort of relationship/friendship with this man?  Am I crazy?  Perhaps a little.  Am I desperate? I hope not.  I'll tell you.

It's because I'm a masochist, that's why.