Weakness for After Work Cocktails

There is a definite shift in the air chaps.  This "brain switched to off" malarkey has come up trumps.  For the last week I've made a conscious decision to focus on all the good things in my life, of which I am pleased to say there are plenty.  And, in the way a compulsive list maker does, here are some of the said wonderful things that make me realise what a lucky, lucky girl I really am.

1. I have a gorgeous, healthy family.
2. I have some of the best friends a girl could wish for.
3. I have a job I enjoy, for a firm that I love, and with colleagues I care about.
4. I am financially secure (at least, as much as anyone with a compulsive shoe habit and a weakness for after work cocktails in London will ever be).
5. I have known true and passionate love.
6. I know that come what may I am the mistress of my own destiny.  If I'm miserable, its because I am putting my focus in the wrong places.  If I am happy its because I am accepting of myself, my flaws and my failings and allowing myself to just be.
7. I have lovely shoes.
8. I can see light at the end of the tunnel.

On top of that I have been putting a little more energy into the online dating effort.  Probably not as much as I should, and I'm still feeling pretty half hearted about it if I'm honest, but I'm doing my best to be positive and open to possibilities, and there's some fun banter going on.  And I have now agreed to meet the sexy Spaniard later this week, which I suppose is a step in the right direction... I'll keep you posted.

EB xx 

Shimmying the night away

Well, I'm sort of feeling a bit better.  Why?  Because I've decided to give my brain the month off.  For one month I am not going to think of the bad stuff, I'm not going to talk about the bad stuff, I'm not even going to acknowledge that bad stuff exists.

Instead, I'm swapping the bad stuff for some very, very good stuff.  I'm planning a few selfish and solitary trips away (spa days, country hotels etc) I have my mini break lined up with SJ, Morrocco and Cougar and between now and then I'm going to live the life a cosmopolitan single girl should live.  It is going to involve cocktails, dates, dinners and hopefully a bit of shimmying the night away.  There will also be evenings in with my Revenge boxed set, perhaps a glass or two of red wine and a whole lot of R&R. 

Of course, there's the huge potential that this cunning plan will go tits up - it must be said that I do have the propensity to make a decision and then minutes later do a complete volte-face leaving the unsuspecting bystander feeling dizzy.  It might be that come Saturday I am back on the sofa with the blanket bemoaning the fact that I've made an absolute arse of myself...

Only time will tell.

A heavy heart and a slightly shaky hand

So reluctantly, I'm back on the online thing.  In a vain attempt to be optimistic I decided to actually respond to some of the messages that have been sitting, untouched and unread, in my inbox for weeks.  Hey, nothing ventured, nothing gained, right?

So first up, there are a few random messages, clearly mass produced for the newbies.

No thanks.  Delete.

Three  further messages follow, from perfectly nice sounding guys, but nothing to really make me want to reach out and explore.  So, with heavy heart and a slightly shaky hand, I send what can only be described as a bland and half hearted reply to each, more to be polite than anything.  To my surprise, two of the three write back.  Sensibly, the third appears to have decided to cut his losses.  Can't say I blame him.  Of the two respondees, I send them both further replies, this time with a little more humour, but saying terribly sorry, not sure this is for me right now.  One polite response back, wishing me luck in my life.  How very civilised.

And then there is J.   Seems nice, interesting, witty, of Spanish descent.  Good looking, one little girl and he doesn't want more children.  The right age backet.  Own teeth.  Lives reasonably close by, happy to do his share of travelling to meet up.  We exchange a few emails, so far so good.  He suggests meeting up in this weekend.

My head says "What are you waiting for?" 

My heart says, "Meh".

Think I'll stay home with a bottle of red and a blanket.