A heavy heart and a slightly shaky hand

So reluctantly, I'm back on the online thing.  In a vain attempt to be optimistic I decided to actually respond to some of the messages that have been sitting, untouched and unread, in my inbox for weeks.  Hey, nothing ventured, nothing gained, right?

So first up, there are a few random messages, clearly mass produced for the newbies.

No thanks.  Delete.

Three  further messages follow, from perfectly nice sounding guys, but nothing to really make me want to reach out and explore.  So, with heavy heart and a slightly shaky hand, I send what can only be described as a bland and half hearted reply to each, more to be polite than anything.  To my surprise, two of the three write back.  Sensibly, the third appears to have decided to cut his losses.  Can't say I blame him.  Of the two respondees, I send them both further replies, this time with a little more humour, but saying terribly sorry, not sure this is for me right now.  One polite response back, wishing me luck in my life.  How very civilised.

And then there is J.   Seems nice, interesting, witty, of Spanish descent.  Good looking, one little girl and he doesn't want more children.  The right age backet.  Own teeth.  Lives reasonably close by, happy to do his share of travelling to meet up.  We exchange a few emails, so far so good.  He suggests meeting up in this weekend.

My head says "What are you waiting for?" 

My heart says, "Meh".

Think I'll stay home with a bottle of red and a blanket.