This happened to me last night.
About a year ago (when I was still with MB) an old friend (well, acquintance is probably more apt) made a reappearance into my life. I'll call him Mr 29. It was a "one night only" kind of thing, and although I stayed over at his hotel with him (once again, I'd missed the train and his hotel was just 5 mins from my work - made total sense at the time) of course nothing happened as we were both in other relationships. We had spent a good part of the night dancing, laughing, drinking etc, and the rest of the night talking about our respective lives and how his wife didn't understand him and how dissatisfied I was with my relationship with MB but didn't know if, when or how to end it. We ended the night with a lingering look and a promise to keep in touch.
Anyway. Fast forward to next day, I feel entirely guilty, despite not having done anything to warrant that awful, sick, gut wrenching feeling and I put him out of my mind. We exchanged a few non-descript texts, and that was that.
Over the coming months he made a few attempts to sort out a date when we could get together, and depending on just how things were with MB at the time I either said yes and then subsequently cancelled, or I said no and regretted it. Either way, other than one long lunch and a few occasions where we've met up in the company of others, nothing further came of it.
Until last night.
A few months ago he started texting again, this time joking that he wouldn't take no for an answer. I pointed out that whilst I was now single, I don't date married men (as I believe I've made pretty clear already!). Turns out that he and his wife have been separated for a year. As a free agent, I therefore decided to take him up on it and we met for drinks last night.
He was extremely good company: amusing, witty, bright. He was interested in me and mine, and forthcoming about his own life. He complimented my shoes. So far so good.
When it was time to leave, he kissed me chastely on the cheek and gave the usual "we must do this again sometime". He did go slightly further in suggesting that as he is (in his words) a reasonable cook, he would like to make dinner for me one evening. However, I can't shake the feeling that this may have simply been old friends catching up. Whilst that in itself is fine, I don't really want or need anymore friends (with or without benefits), and I don't like ambiguity. I'm certainly in no rush to jump in and have the whole "where do you see this relationship going" conversation after just a few hours, a bowl of mixed olives and a vodka tonic, but equally, a control freak such as moi does like to know which way is up.
So here is how my little head is currently processing things:
He loves me
Has been pursuing me (on and off) for a year, even though I've been flaky
Tactile - lots of arm and knee touching
He'd read my profile on my firm's website (and complimented me on the truly hideous pic)
As he kissed me good night he took my hand and held it longer than necessary
Offered to cook for me
Complimented my outfit
Sent sweet text at bedtime
He loves me not
Hadn't told me he was separated
There have been weeks, if not months, between communications
No fixed date to meet again
So you see, dear readers, why I'm confused.
In the meantime, the other two dates I had lined up for this week have been kicked to the curb for the moment - the first because our diaries were proving just to difficult to pair up and the other as I had forgotten I'd double booked myself. We're now planning to get together next week for an evening of "outdoor adventure". The mind boggles. Mr 29 had better show his hand soon, methinks...
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